Every day of my working life in paediatrics, a patient has assumed I am a nurse. This is after I’ve already introduced myself as a doctor. Parents will often say ‘hold still while the nurse listens to your chest’ or ‘sorry I can’t talk on the phone, the nurse is here’.
My most notable was the 7 year old boy who, after my consultation asked me ‘why does it say doctor on your top when you’re a nurse?’.
But the truth is, whilst I do correct them, it’s not the time or place to get into a discussion about sexism and role in medicine with your patient. As @ben_hock recognized too.
And that’s why it was a big deal for me this week when this happened, but from a colleague. I tweeted my story, and this has provoked a large discussion on twitter, and unsurprisingly, it wasn’t all positive.
The response on twitter has been astounding. So many women experience the same thing from colleagues – in spite of all the evidence that they are doctors, the assumption is still made that because they are a woman they are more likely to be in another profession.
But of course, this is social media, and so not everyone offered me sympathy or empathised. There were four main criticisms, or rather explanations, as to why this must of happened. It couldn’t be plain sexism, could it?
1. You brought it on yourself.
I didn’t introduce myself. I really should have, and actually I feel I do this 90% of the time. In this particular case I didn’t, but I was still trying to be kind by helping the person who’d come to our department while sorting out my blood bottles etc so thought I’d just quickly direct them to the patient.
But should I have to explain this to the twittersphere? Is it really my fault that the registrar is sexist, because I didn’t do enough to intervene before he expressed his prejudice?
2. Being a nurse isn’t an insult.
There were quite a few comments like this, with the insinuation that I was insulted because I was called a nurse, and that means I think that nurses are somehow inferior to doctors. This is an odd debate that simply gets in the way of the issue at hand.
It’s like someone calling me Robert, and then when I tell them my name is actually Tessa, someone else steps in with ‘there’s nothing wrong with being called Robert you know!’.
There is, in my mind, no inherent value judgement in being called a nurse. Nurses are no better nor worse than doctors so the conversation wasn’t insulting because he called me a nurse. It was insulting because in seeing my gender, he did not see a doctor. He made an assumption that women are nurses, and men are doctors. That has nothing to do with the worth of each profession.
3. It’s an easy mistake to make. He probably thought you were a nurse because x…
But let’s get realistic. I was clearly a doctor. I was wearing a doctor’s uniform. I had doctor on my scrubs. I have three badges on my top which also state doctor.
I really don’t think this was an easy ‘mistake’ to make.
4. You need to chill out.
There were also many suggestions that I took it the wrong way, and that he probably meant no harm.
This undermining of my experience is really frustrating. The idea that I was upset because of my ego, or that I allowed patient care to be impacted because of this comment, again just missed the point.
And then there was the harsh comments that felt I was making a big fuss about nothing.
(and in case you missed the reference, this is from ‘I got 99 problems and a bitch ain’t one’ by Jaz-Z) *thanks to @unsarcasticone for flagging this
Really I’m at a loss as to how to reply to these. Comments like this are intimidating. I’m not shy at standing up for myself, but how am I supposed to reply to this? Why would someone post this?
It’s been an interesting few days all round. And the best part has been hearing from other women and men supporting standing up to sexism in medicine. Here’s a few of the best.
I was clearly a doctor….
And it was clearly sexism. It’s even more frustrating when other healthcare professionals on social media try to explain it away:
And a particular thanks goes to those who PM’d me (especially @_nmay, @jeremyfaust, @aLittleMedic, and @nomadicgp).
But that’s the reality of the environment we work in. Most people were hugely supportive and have experienced the same. But there are plenty out there working alongside in hospitals that think I was being over-sensitive or making a big deal out of nothing. There is still a long way to go with sexism in medicine.
How exasperating! Those choosing to negate Tessa’s feelings really have no right to invalidate her response. That kind of gas-lighting and invalidation actually proves her point. Women not only have to deal with incorrect assumptions professionally, but they’re also denied any response to those incorrect assumptions. Enough with the “what about”s, the “you shouldn’t”s, the “you’re overreacting”s and the ‘mansplaining’. How about just more RESPECT, “I understand your frustration” and “how can we change this?”
I don’t agree with your example of “respect.” One of the most sexist word combinations that a man can say to a woman—typically, some A-hole who is denying you something you’re owed—is, “I understand your frustration.” “Yes, Mame, we aren’t going to refund you the money we took without authorization from your account, but “I understand your frustration.” It’s infuriating, and such pandering rarely happens man to man. When a man gets upset (for example, with Comcast or some such service provider), the customer service provider will NEVER say to that man, “I understand your frustration.” Maybe, just maybe he… Read more »
Thanks Tessa
As a man I don’t think we “get” every day sexism as we rarely experience it.
I felt it once I became a stay home Dad. Casual conversations became laced with assumptions about my competence to carry out basic parenting duties (nappy changes, etc)
It is a tough dynamic: to remain socially friendly and yet correct others deeply automated assumptions and unconscious beliefs. Offense is often taken, as you found out in the Twittersphere.
It is a common phenomenon and I think only consistent correction over time will change those minds.
I don’t buy it.
A junior doctor, who will have been studying with more women than men at university, and more female peers than men throughout his training, doesn’t believe that you could be a doctor because of your gender? More likely to be an honest mistake, over-analysed due to inherent insecurities I’d say.
It just makes no sense that a junior doctor in this day and age couldn’t believe a woman was a doctor…
How true James!
Sexism just makes no sense!
My graduating class was 60% female and the other 40% still sat and do dumb shit like that Paed Registrar. Every. Damn. Day
It makes zero sense. None.
It is also reality. Go figure.
And here, for me, is a classic example of the problem with this sort of debate.
As soon as someone doesn’t agree with your viewpoint, you make a derogatory, sweeping generalisation about everyone in my demographic.
Almost everyday sexism, you might say…
As a fellow female junior doctor, I felt emplored to respond to let you know that it happens, every single day. To me and to all of my classmates, friends who are female. Consistently, by patients and colleagues young and old. It is a reality. I had to respond to this comment as it seemed to make an assumption based on belief and not proof. I hope you can take that message away and be conscious that it is a reality for us.
James – a pediatrics registrar holds a clerical role and is NOT a junior doctor.
I’m s bit late to this whole conversation, can’t believe the negative responses! It is sexist and it is frustrating and I thought it only happened to myself….. clearly not. Thank you so much for raising the issue and being so brave , you are amazing !
Tessa! I love your story, and this happens to me every single day. I work in orthopaedics and I’m always assumed to be everything but the orthopaedic registrar. This happens to pretty much every female doctor I’ve ever worked with. Well done for voicing this and don’t worry about the other people who are making negative comments. Love your work!
As a female surgeon I have faced this micro-bias daily for my whole career- and the effect is cumulative. Patients, nurses, colleagues. The common assumption remains and will take generations to remove. Education is not effective as the perpetrators change so often. I can see a patient, take a full history and examination, explain the surgery, get the consent then have them ask – don’t I get to see the doctor? Yes I do introduce myself. Always as ‘doctor’ to a patient or their family and with my title and role to colleagues. If I move the breakfast closer to… Read more »
I agree!! It’s so demoralizing to have to spend half of your day explaining that yes, you actually are the doctor. That you introduced yourself as doctor, wore your coat and badge, and all of that was still ignored. It’s not coincidence that most of the negative responses were from men. It’s easy for them to ignore the problem and say it is all in our heads as they are not the marginalized group. Many of the men I work with openly acknowledge that I have had a different experience than them. Most of the time, I just nicely correct… Read more »
Your poor sod (both for the original event and the dickheads on Twitter). I’m a (male) Consultant in a Paeds Hospital and about 60% of my junior medical colleagues are women, so I’d rightly get my balls for earrings if I did something that crass and stupid. Next time don’t go “…” Say “duh” and wave your badge in his face. Thank you for sticking your head above the parapet. My wife’s an EM Consultant of some years’ experience and she gets this sort of crap all the time, even from other women – particularly mothers of small girls: “do… Read more »
35 years ago my then 18 month old son got his vaccinations from a substitute pediatrician because his regular doctor (female) was out. I told him to thank the doctor before we left. He said he couldn’t because he hadn’t seen the doctor. i pointed out that this man was a doctor. “no, he can’t be, he is a man,’ with the authority of an almost 2 year old. “What about your uncle Greg? He’s a doctor!” Dripping scarcasm, the reply was, “No, he’s not. He’s only a surgeon.” How could I argue with that?
v
https://www.economist.com/blogs/graphicdetail/2017/11/daily-chart-19
Interesting article on the subject