On our transfer date, we were ecstatic. It was October. We were \u201cgoing to put a pumpkin in my belly\u201d.\u00a0 Our plan was to transfer two embryos, until we went in to the office and found out we in fact ONLY had two embryos.\u00a0 Well there were two other ones that were in morula phase but needed to progress to blastocyst. We looked at each other, without much discussion and said, \u201cOkay we have two.\u00a0 We will have two more once they grow.\u00a0 Let\u2019s put in these two.\u201d\u00a0 And we did.\u00a0 I spent the day on the floor with my legs against the wall trying to encourage those two embryos to make a home in my uterus.\u00a0 All the while I was wondering, \u201cWas the doctor was right?\u00a0 Did I have my own reproductive problems? Had I managed to get to 31 years of age without a child because I am infertile?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n I hadn\u2019t heard anything about my two other embryos, so I emailed my nurse to call me with the results.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t call.\u00a0 She sent me an email: No frozen embryos L.<\/p>\n Sad face \u2013 like the one with the colon and the parentheses\u2026yes that.\u00a0 Breaking bad news is always a challenge. I break bad news almost every shift in the emergency department.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 An email with a sad face to a woman jacked up hormones was not the best approach.\u00a0 I now had two embryos inside me that were my only chance of getting pregnant, and a 60% chance of success at that.<\/p>\n Ten days later, we did a home pregnancy test.\u00a0 It was positive.\u00a0 We were overjoyed – for a short time. The next day my blood pregnancy test came back:\u00a0 49.\u00a0 My nurse called and explained that it was lower than they would expect.\u00a0 I agreed to a 48-hour repeat.\u00a0 The next day, I started bleeding on my overnight shift.\u00a0 My repeat count was 98.\u00a0 EXACTLY doubled.\u00a0 I was still bleeding. My nurse called again \u2013 wanted to know if I want to keep repeating beta quants<\/em> every two days or just wait for my six-week ultrasound. I did NOT want to be the patient I see in the ER getting repeat quants.\u00a0 In fact, I didn\u2019t want to be the patient at all.\u00a0 So I said \u201cNo!\u201d and I waited until my six-week ultrasound.<\/p>\n On my ultrasound day, I had started to feel pregnant. I had started to believe I could be<\/em> pregnant. But as soon as the transvaginal probe went in, I could see the clear stripe of my uterus uninterrupted by any collections of fluid. It was utterly empty.\u00a0 Immediately, the tears crept in the corners of my eyes. My doctor scanned out to the left, and there it was \u2013 a gestational sac, a yolk sac, no fetal pole, no heartbeat.\u00a0 I had an ectopic pregnancy.\u00a0 That diagnosis I was always eager to make in others, I now made for myself.\u00a0 My doctor looked at me and said the most honest thing she could say, \u201cI am so sorry.\u00a0 You probably diagnose these way more than I do.\u00a0 It\u2019s extremely rare with IVF, less than 1%.\u201d\u00a0 Yes, I do diagnose them more than she does.\u00a0 And yes, I am the 1%.<\/p>\n My infertility journey didn\u2019t end with an ectopic. I underwent multiple other rounds of IVF, eventually laparoscopic surgery, and I am now currently starting my fifth round of injections and then hopefully my third egg retrieval.<\/p>\n I share my very personal story, because though I was diagnosed as the 1% undergoing fertility treatments with an ectopic, my diagnosis of infertility as a woman in medicine is not rare. \u00a0I am NOT alone.<\/p>\n For the general population, the infertility risk is approximately 12.1% according to CDC data. Women around the world with infertility state that they are the 1 in 8.\u00a0 As women in medicine, we have an INCREASED RISK of infertility. Our risk is 24.1% for infertility, which means that for women in medicine, ONE IN FOUR of us will struggle with infertility.<\/p>\n Many will say it is because we attempt conception at an older age, and yes that is part of it.\u00a0 But it is NOT the whole story. A study in Hungary looked at over 3000 female physicians and compared them to an age adjusted control group of professional women, other women who delayed child-birthing for their education and careers.\u00a0 The study found that women in medicine STILL had a statistically significant increase in infertility rates, even compared with their professional colleagues of the same age.<\/p>\n So where do we go from here?<\/p>\n First, we have to start the conversation.\u00a0 We have to start telling our stories and raise awareness about physician infertility.\u00a0 As physicians, we can do so much to erase the stigma around infertility, and to raise awareness in our own professional groups.\u00a0 It is uncomfortable, but change can only start by working through discomfort.<\/p>\n Second, we need to counsel and protect the young women in medical school and early residency that will be joining our ranks.\u00a0 We need to caution them in advance.\u00a0 I never thought 31 would be too old. We need to start the conversation so that the women coming behind us are better informed that I was; so that they know their risks – the risks I didn\u2019t know – and can make decisions accordingly.<\/p>\n Finally, we NEED more data and better data. \u00a0Data will allow us to create policies to protect women in medicine, for example: policies to not only allow, but to actually support women who want to have children during their training, whether medical school or residency.<\/p>\n In the meantime, as we wait for more data and better policies, as I wait for another round of IVF and the possibility of pregnancy, I will continue to tell my story to raise awareness about physician infertility.\u00a0 I invite you to join me –\u00a0 #SayTheFWord and tell your story.<\/p>\n Watch the full FIX18 talk below!<\/em><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/feminem.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Fertility-2-300x227.png\")
<\/p>\n