I have a confession to make. I don\u2019t have children. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You read that right. I\u2019m a woman, of childbearing age, who\ndoesn\u2019t have children, and I have no plans to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You might read this and think, \u201cHey, that\u2019s fine, this is\n2019, lots of women do that.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that is not my personal experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My experience when meeting someone new, either personally or\nprofessionally, is that the conversation goes along these lines: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Hi, I\u2019m Beth Pontius.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Other: Hi, I\u2019m Jane Smith. What do\nyou do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: I\u2019m an Emergency Physician. I\nwork a lot with resident and medical student education. What do you do? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Other: Oh, that\u2019s nice. Do you have\nkids?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Just the four-legged furry\nkind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My husband and I made a choice to not have children before we got married, but not everyone has that luxury. When you ask someone if they have children, or if they plan on having children, you have no idea what the other person is facing. Maybe they\u2019ve had infertility struggles. Maybe they don\u2019t agree with their partner about whether to have kids, when to have kids, or how to raise kids, and the topic of having children is stressful and emotional. You may think this is a benign question, but you have no idea what emotions are going on behind the smile projected by the person you\u2019re questioning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have had coworkers say, \u201cWell, because I have kids, it\u2019s\nso much harder to do…\u201d I have news for you: being a woman physician without\nkids is not the same as being a man. There are struggles and barriers women\nface in medicine, regardless of whether they have children or not. Just this\nweek, I received an email from a visiting medical student directed to \u201cDr. Xxxxx\n(one of the male physicians in my group) and Ms. Pontius.\u201d I\u2019m not trying to\nmake light of the sacrifices you make when you become a parent \u2013 parenting is\nhard work, and takes a lot of time, effort, and tears. But I think we are remiss in focusing all our\nattention on the unique struggles of women physicians who are mothers, and not\nrecognizing that all women physicians continue to fight an uphill battle for\nrecognition, promotion, and equal pay. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When other women promote National Women Physician\u2019s Day, or\ntweet about gender inequality in the workplace, and use the hashtag \u201c#PMG\u201d, they\nare actually alienating a large percentage of women who don\u2019t have\nchildren. Of the thirty women my group, eleven\nof us do not have children. Take a moment, and think: how are you promoting\nyour fellow FemInEMs when your statement automatically excludes one-third of\nus? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I often hear the refrain \u201cBut you and Andrew would be such\ngood parents!\u201d as someone\u2019s argument that we should reconsider our decision to\nnot have children. I agree \u2013 my husband and I would be awesome parents! We love\nchildren, we have a ton of fun with our fifteen nieces and nephews, and we are\nkind, generous, smart, caring, and responsible people, who work hard to make\nthis world a more loving and equitable place. We can still be those people, and\nstrive to do those acts, without having children. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have a confession to make. I don\u2019t have children. You read that right. I\u2019m a woman, of childbearing age, who doesn\u2019t have children, and I have no plans to. You might read this and think, \u201cHey, that\u2019s fine, this…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":708,"featured_media":17227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"@EPDPMD explains why we need to consider our childfree colleagues when we advocate for gender equity.","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[43,828],"coauthors":[829],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n