{"id":2698,"date":"2016-08-29T07:00:22","date_gmt":"2016-08-29T12:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/feminem.org\/?p=2698"},"modified":"2016-12-29T11:46:40","modified_gmt":"2016-12-29T16:46:40","slug":"get-over-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/feminem.org\/2016\/08\/29\/get-over-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Get Over Yourself and Let’s Just Support Each Other"},"content":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: The recent commentary\u00a0in ACEPNow<\/a> on women in EM prompted Dr. Yafai to pen her thoughts. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

To all those ER physicians who are angry with “supporting” your female colleague who is pregnant or otherwise woman-ly disabled,<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The thing about working in an ER that has a\u00a050\/50 or 70\/30 M:F clinical ratio is that you rarely see the other side.\u00a0 I have been working as a full time ER MD for the last 8 years in a community hospital in Los Angeles. My ER is predominantly female run. And predominantly moms. And it works GREAT.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The reason it works so well, is that\u00a0women<\/em>\u00a0are covering\u00a0pregnant\u00a0women<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0women<\/em>\u00a0who are breast feeding\/pumping. It’s not only men that are\u00a0“supporting” their female colleagues. We cover each other happily. Well, actually, that’s not always true. Sometimes we grumble about how long someone is taking to pump and reminisce how we used to pump while intubating a patient, because we were awesome, unlike the new generation. Just kidding. We do this\u00a0with open hearts. We ask each other how it’s going and sympathize with the peripartum docs\u00a0we know are trying to do it all and holding it together sometimes by a thread. We can comfort and empathize\u00a0and<\/em>\u00a0do the work.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
For the most part we are women helping women. Not angry men burdened to subsidize\u00a0women who are “disabled”. What a twisted version of reality that\u00a0is! It’s not just our\u00a0right to bear children, it’s our\u00a0right to be able to feel safe at work and not be intimated\u00a0by our\u00a0colleagues. How is it that physicians are so behind the times of the rest of our country?\u00a0 Many\u00a0ERs doesn’t have a room reserved to pump. And we are a freakin’ hospital for crying out loud!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
You know why? Well, I have a theory…<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I think women are\u00a0shamed as soon as we can’t\u00a0spend every day and night at work that our voices are choked. We are trying so hard to fit in the boys club that we have forgotten that we are women. In residency, we would\u00a0 watch female attendings get mocked behind their backs because they called their children to say goodnight in the middle of a shift. What is that about? Why is that OK?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Something else that is frequently forgotten\u00a0…. many working ER physician mom’s “choose” to be nocturnists.\u00a0 We know they\u00a0do this to\u00a0spend more time with their children, be present at\u00a0soccer games\/practices, functionally filling the roles of stay at home parents. Are they ever recognized for departmental benefit of covering the nights? No. Let’s be honest, if a male ER physician works nights, it’s usually to make more money. Are there some men who do it for their children? I’m sure there are, but I haven’t met them yet.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
But back to my department. I have a different theory about why this particular\u00a0department\u00a0is so desirable to working moms. It is based\u00a0on\u00a0how we do our scheduling<\/em>.\u00a0 Like all ER’s we are required to work 12 shifts a month, 1\/4 of which are nights, 1\/4 of which are weekends.\u00a0BUT…I\u00a0have a\u00a0control over\u00a0which combination of Saturday\/Sundays I work. When I was single, I worked all\u00a0Sundays\u00a0and went out with friends\u00a0on Saturdays. When I got married I worked every other full weekend, so we could go away for the weekend occasionally. When I had kids, I started working Saturdays. The flexibility of moving my schedule as my life moves forward has been critical in sustaining and maintaining happiness in my career. There is nothing unfair or one-sided about workplace flexibility. It works for BOTH men and women.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: The recent commentary\u00a0in ACEPNow on women in EM prompted Dr. Yafai to pen her thoughts. \u00a0 To all those ER physicians who are angry with “supporting” your female colleague who is pregnant or otherwise woman-ly disabled, The thing…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":2712,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[130],"coauthors":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGet Over Yourself and Let's Just Support Each Other - FemInEM<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/feminem.org\/2016\/08\/29\/get-over-yourself\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Get Over Yourself and Let's Just Support Each Other - FemInEM\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Editor’s Note: The recent commentary\u00a0in ACEPNow on women in EM prompted Dr. Yafai to pen her thoughts. \u00a0 To all those ER physicians who are angry with “supporting” your female colleague who is pregnant or otherwise woman-ly disabled, The thing...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/feminem.org\/2016\/08\/29\/get-over-yourself\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"FemInEM\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/1383586405303463\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-08-29T12:00:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-12-29T16:46:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/feminem.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/shutterstock_51610987-e1471550020485.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"400\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"483\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sherry Yafai. 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