Tap tap tap\u2026<\/p>\n
You feel the sensation on your shoulder and you always knew they were coming.\u00a0 The Imposter Police have finally caught on to you and they are here to escort you out.\u00a0 You think \u201cI know everyone here is smarter and more accomplished than me, and knows what the hell they are doing.\u00a0 Well, its been fun while it lasted!\u201d as they drag you away to obscurity.<\/p>\n
It is time to wake up from this maladaptive fantasy because you are NOT an imposter!\u00a0 You earned the spot you have and it is time to start owning your success.\u00a0 The Imposter Syndrome robs us of our confidence, impairs performance, limits ambition out of fear, and keeps us from connecting to others in meaningful ways.\u00a0 Understanding the Imposter Syndrome is the key to beating it!<\/p>\n
Imposter Syndrome affects a specific target population \u2013 the educated, the affluent, and the successful.\u00a0 If you have ever suffered with these feelings, congratulations, you are educated, affluent, and successful!\u00a0 Also, you are NOT alone.\u00a0 Studies reveal that at least 70% of this population is affected. \u00a0How can you face your imposter demons and wrestle them into submission??\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about diagnosis and treatment!<\/p>\n
When you have some cool accomplishments and accolades under your belt \u2013 some awards, a few publications, an important committee at work \u2013 and you meet someone who has accomplished more. They have several<\/em> publications, chapters, awards, and committees.\u00a0 Then you meet the one-upper who has done 257 randomized double-blind placebo-controlled trials, has written an entire textbook and is the direct descendent of Hippocrates himself.\u00a0 So you start shaking internally about how impressive and important everyone else\u2019s<\/em> accomplishments are.<\/p>\n Treatment<\/span>:\u00a0 Shake it off!!!\u00a0 Because the truth is, they are<\/em> awesome.\u00a0 But that doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t also<\/em> be awesome. \u00a0They didn\u2019t use it all up!!\u00a0 Awesome is an infinite resource!\u00a0 And that person can\u2019t be awesome in the unique, authentic way that only you can.\u00a0 \u201cWanting to be anyone other than who you are is a waste of who you are\u201d (Kurt Cobain).<\/p>\n You tell yourself \u201cI should do more research\u201d, \u201cI should write more textbook chapters\u201d, \u201cI should get on more committees\u201d \u201cI should, I should, I should\u201d\u2026until you are knee deep<\/em> in it. And let me assure you, it reeks!<\/p>\n Treatment<\/u>: \u00a0When you find yourself knee deep in the \u201cshould\u201d, I am going to send 2 people over to your house: an incessantly questioning toddler and a snotty teenage kid.\u00a0 When you say something like \u201cI should do more research\u201d, the toddler will ask you\u2026why? Why? Why? Why?\u00a0 If you answer is something like \u201cbecause it resonates with me, I\u2019m passionate about it and it\u2019s my career goal\u201d \u2026then fine, he will leave you alone and go color on your walls.\u00a0 Buuuuuttt\u2026if the incessant whys lead you to something like \u201cSarah has a lot of research on her CV\u201d, the snotty teenager will barely<\/em> look up from his phone, roll his eyes at you, and say \u201cwho cares?!\u201d.\u00a0 So anytime you have the shoulds, it must pass the \u201cwhy\u201d and \u201cwho cares\u201d test or you need to flush it down the toilet.<\/p>\n They pop into your head before you even realize they are there. Friend: \u201chey, that\u2019s a really nice dress\u201d.\u00a0 You: \u201coh no, I have no fashion sense, I\u2019m a hot mess\u201d (boom, that\u2019s an ANT!).\u00a0 Coworker: \u201cthat was a really insightful comment you made at the meeting\u201d You: \u201cI\u2019m only on the committee because they needed a warm body\u201d (ANT!!).\u00a0 You look in the mirror and your mind automatically criticize your \u201cfaults\u201d \u2026your nose, your hair, your make up (ANTS everywhere).\u00a0 The infestation is insidious and destructive!\u00a0 These little bug-like thoughts eat away at the foundation of your self-confidence.<\/p>\n Treatment<\/u>:\u00a0 As soon as you get a compliment and hear yourself thinking or saying anything negative, stop in your tracks immediately!!\u00a0 Replace your typical reply by saying thank you and accept the damn compliment.\u00a0 You won\u2019t burst into flames, I promise!\u00a0 The key to eliminating your infestation is immediate recognition and immediate counteraction.<\/p>\n When our confidence feels low, we are afraid to admit what we want. So instead of telling people our goals and dreams, we just try to think<\/em> them so hard that people will notice our efforts and magically give us what we want.\u00a0 Or we are scared of reaching for our goals so we do self-sabotaging behaviors like procrastination and half-assing things.\u00a0 Because if you never finish something, no one can judge the final product, right?!\u00a0 What you think you are doing is protecting yourself from rejection, but what you are actually doing is preventing yourself from reaching your goals.<\/p>\n Treatment<\/u>: NO ONE CAN READ YOUR MIND!!!\u00a0 If you want something, it\u2019s time to ask.\u00a0 If you want to be the director of patient satisfaction, set up a meeting with your boss and outline a plan of steps and accomplishments that you will need to reach your goal.\u00a0 You need to stop being vague about it and get mighty real.\u00a0 LIVE YOUR LIFE!!\u00a0 Do that awesome amazing thing that is authentically and uniquely you.<\/p>\n You dot every i, cross every t, overprepare and over rehearse before you will even make a comment. You are so afraid that if you make one tiny mistake, everyone will realize that you aren\u2019t perfect.\u00a0 You are worried they will think you are dumb and don\u2019t belong.\u00a0 Because you are worried they might be right.<\/p>\n Treatment<\/u>:\u00a0 It is time to stop worrying so much about what other people think, because the truth is, people aren\u2019t thinking about us nearly as much as we think they are.\u00a0 What are they thinking about?\u00a0 Themselves!!\u00a0 Their own ANTS and problems.\u00a0 Stop worrying so much about being perfect!\u00a0 Newsflash \u2013 you are not perfect.\u00a0 But neither is that awesome person you feel intimidated by!!\u00a0 We are all just humans.\u00a0 Being.<\/p>\n Everything you have and do is balanced on the foundation of your self-confidence and self-worth \u2013 your career, goals, ambitions, relationships, hobbies, and dreams. When that base is rickety from lack of inner support for yourself and from being eaten away by ANTS, it is no wonder we feel wobbly!\u00a0 But do we speak out??\u00a0 NO!! Because if we tell anyone that we feel like we don\u2019t know what we are doing, we are afraid\u2026Afraid that they will\u2026what??\u00a0 Shoot us??\u00a0 Fire us??\u00a0 Quit being our friend??\u00a0 Unmatch all of our socks??\u00a0 What are we so afraid of???\u00a0 The Imposter Syndrome keeps us lonely because we are afraid to reach out and make a meaningful connection and \u201cconfess\u201d to others.\u00a0 But the only way to beat it is to shine a light on it!<\/p>\n Treatment<\/u>:\u00a0 Reach out!!\u00a0 Humans aren\u2019t meant to be solitary creatures.\u00a0 Use your support system, find your tribe, speak your truth.\u00a0 If at least 70% of educated, affluent, and successful people feel this way, it is very likely that the people around you can relate.\u00a0 YOU ARE NOT ALONE.<\/p>\n The truth is, there will always be problems and stressors in life.\u00a0 You can\u2019t change that.\u00a0 But you can change how you respond, you are absolutely empowered to do that!\u00a0 Problems are like lemons, if you cut off a big hunk of lemon and stick it in your mouth, it is bitter!\u00a0 But if you dilute it into a glass of water, it\u2019s not so hard to take.\u00a0 You dilute it by connecting with others, recognizing your ANTS, and practicing and strengthening your confidence skills.\u00a0 In time, you will become so good and so strong that the next time life hands you lemons, you will make apple juice!!\u00a0 And leave everyone wondering how the hell you did it.<\/p>\n Watch the full FIX17 talk below!<\/em><\/p>\n\n
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