She came up to me and said, \u201cYou saved my life.\u201d I remember meeting this woman while I was walking my dog in a woody park near my home and I was taken aback. \u00a0She didn\u2019t look like someone who should be dead, she was young and vibrant and out for a hike. Then she added details. \u00a0She had an ectopic pregnancy. She came to the ED in shock. She was frightened. \u00a0She was right- I did take care of her. \u00a0I remembered her coming in with nearly no blood pressure, with low belly pain and a positive pregnancy test. \u00a0In the days before ultrasound, this was enough for me to advocate for her to go to the OR with OB. \u00a0They took her, and we were right, she had a ruptured ectopic. And clearly, she had lived.<\/p>\n
So as it came back, I then remembered and said, \u201cI did nothing.\u201d Meaning I did nothing unusual. \u00a0Two large bore IVs, some intense phone calls, the pregnancy test, a physical and I remember standing by her head and whispering in her ear nearly the whole time to explain everything. \u00a0Because she was scared. \u00a0And this was the worst day of her life and it was the right thing to do.<\/p>\n
We say that a lot, my friends and I. \u00a0We have a habit of meeting people on the worst days, or nearly the worst days of their lives in the Emergency Department. \u00a0We stand there, shoulder to shoulder and just do the right thing. We give them the moments of care and humanity that mean so much at those horrible times. \u00a0But to us, it is a day at work. \u00a0It is what we do. \u00a0And because we make such a difference often each day, we are dulled to the impact. \u00a0And so, we say \u201cIt was nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Last week I had the worst day of my life. \u00a0My parents\u2019 home went on fire and the second floor, where my brother lived was destroyed. My brother was home and died in the fire. \u00a0My parents were away on vacation and as news trucks and fire engines filled the entire block with ambulances and police cars it fell to me to call them and tell them their only son had been killed. \u00a0It fell to me to find my sister as she walked from where she had been able to park the car and have her collapse and keen outside of the camera shots of the news cameras. \u00a0It was, by far, the worst day I ever had.<\/p>\n
Through this all, two of my brother\u2019s friends, both off duty from NYPD, were by my side. \u00a0They flanked me as I spoke to the police (someone died, so the area was a crime scene), the arson investigators (they were able to tell me the fire started from an electrical short in an extension cord) and the medical examiner who came to the scene. \u00a0All of these people were incredibly kind to me. \u00a0All of these fine first responders were stalwarts of strength. I wanted, needed to see the inside of the house. \u00a0I needed to see where he had died, which had been burned to charcoal beams. \u00a0There was no light, water from the fire hoses was dripping and puddling everywhere. There were holes in the floor of the second floor. \u00a0The policemen at the scene took flashlights and lanterns and took my sister and myself around our childhood home safely. \u00a0In the dark, dripping silence at 1am we walked around the basement, gathering small things important to our parents, we walked around the first floor doing the same and they guided us up the stairs to see where our brother had perished. \u00a0When we thanked them when they came to the wake for my brother, they insisted they were doing nothing.<\/p>\n
The next day forty people friends and families gathered to clean out the front of the house so that when my parents returned they did not have to see the fire\u2019s destruction as their first view of their home of the last thirty-seven years. \u00a0Cousins just showed up. \u00a0When I went to the house at 10:30, where we planned on meeting at 11am I already found a crowd of his friends working hard, with power tools boarding up the windows that had been blasted open by flames, cleaning and gathering debris. \u00a0When I thanked them they said they said, \u201cBut it was nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
The next day when we brought my parents to the house we found the ceiling bulging with water that had collected creating a dangerous setting. \u00a0Rather than having my father stab the ceiling with a kitchen carving knife as he first wanted I called a friend from long ago. \u00a0He lived not far and has been a fireman for about 30 years. \u00a0He has risen to a rank that now mostly has him pointing out directions from outside the burning house, but he knows his way around the inside of a burned house as well. \u00a0I told him the issue and He said, \u201cI\u2019ll be there in ten minutes.\u201d \u00a0We probably had not spoken in at least a year. \u00a0But he was in my home in full gear, with all he needed to help keep that spot safe, taking down half the ceiling in the process. \u00a0When I thanked him he said, \u201cbut it was nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, I\u2019m reflecting on \u201cnothing\u201d. \u00a0Nothing seems like a lot more than I thought before this horrible day. \u00a0All of those people in those acts of nothing helped pick me up from desperate depths. \u00a0I leaned on them and they held me up. \u00a0They kept my family safe. \u00a0They allowed me my pain and helped me to keep going. \u00a0I can\u2019t thank them enough for all their \u201cnothings.\u201d I realize that their \u201cnothing\u201d really means \u201cNothing more than decent people would do to help someone in great need.\u201d or maybe \u201cNothing more than touch your soul when it is truly exposed and help it to heal with the love of humanity.\u201d<\/p>\n
So next time when someone thanks me, rather than saying \u201cIt was nothing,\u201d I might just say \u201cI\u2019m glad I was able to help.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
She came up to me and said, \u201cYou saved my life.\u201d I remember meeting this woman while I was walking my dog in a woody park near my home and I was taken aback. \u00a0She didn\u2019t look like someone who…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":45,"featured_media":8911,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"Dr. Haughey reflects on how \"nothing\" can be a whole lot more. #wellness #resilience","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4],"tags":[33,419],"coauthors":[305],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n